Chalk it up to the forced family time growing up (window shopping at stores too expensive to even think about purchasing items at) , or the predominance of sports (I am an extremely casual sports fan), but Sundays have always left something to be desired for me. Not this morning though.
I woke up in a pretty good mood, eager to finish my book "Ready Player One" which my friend Jon lent me two weeks ago. I'm seeing him tomorrow so I figured I would finish the book ahead of time, which I wound up doing about ten minutes ago. This entry isn't about that book. (Which is fantastic and you should be reading. Right now.)
I rolled over in bed, plotting out my escape from the room not because Anna was still sleeping, but because I had to use the bathroom. I stealthily swung my feet out, lifted the sheets perhaps a quarter inch, all while Anna was still face down on her pillow. Unaware of anything except her psyche and her deeply relaxed state. So it figures that the second I get out of bed, she's up and alert. "Why are you getting out of bed?" I swear, my future wife has super sonic hearing. It's the only explanation.
I returned from washing up to find Anna in bed, staring off into the distance. We have oddball personalities, but no, this isn't a common occurrence. So I asked her what was wrong. She motioned towards something she was looking at. "What is that box?"
I looked in the same direction as her, and unable to figure out what she was looking at, asked her what she was talking about. "It's right there! How do you not see it!" Even at 9 am on a Sunday, female logic is triumphing over my existence. Figures.
She continued asking about this box until she pointed to it. "There, under the dining room table!"
Like a gentleman, I got out of bed. Climbed underneath the table so my 6'1.5" height was no longer in play, and reached underneath our luxurious wooden..well table. I found a box. "This box?" I called out.
"No! The other box." Just once, I'd like to get something on the first try. It'd be refreshing.
I called out to her. "Which other box?"
"The box that's right there. How do you not see it?" 9:02 am and I've already managed to get several things wrong. Preview of married life, according to most popular comedians. "C'mon, it's right there!"
I turned around, and a device I had never noticed before was there right in front of me. Usually blocked by one of our dining room chairs, I noticed a box plugged into an outlet I never saw up until that moment. I jiggle it a little bit, and manage to take it out of the wall socket. I have no idea what it is, so I bring it back to bed so both Anna and I can take a look at it.
"What do you think it is?" I ask. I hold it out to Anna but she refuses to touch it as if the thing was made out of hot lava.
"I don't want to touch that!" Anna tells me. While it's continuing to sit in my hands. I take one for the team. "How do you not know what that is?"
I shrug. I don't. And truth is, I still have no idea what is. I place it aside. "So what do you want for breakfast?"
Anna looks at me in surprise. "Aren't you curious about what that is? What if it's a recorder?"
I try to defuse that thought by stating that it's a smoke detector. Anna points out that our smoke detector is in the hallway. I try suggesting that it's our carbon monoxide detector. She points out that our carbon monoxide detector is in the living room.
I shrug again. "Okay, well do you want me to put it back?"
"No...put it in the closet or something."
And so it sits. I have no idea what is. All I can tell you is that it doesn't tick, has no timer, and just appears to be a battery of some sort. For all I know, we have now unlocked some force field, or we'll find that gravity stops working around here. Nothing would surprise me.
I wound up having some Trix cereal. I consider that a small victory, at least for a Sunday morning.
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"A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid." - J.R.R. Tolkien
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